October 26, 2003
10:12 PM  ()
.....
ugh.

11:04 AM  ()
and you're never there anymore.
I should get dressed. I have things I need to do.

October 25, 2003
9:28 PM  ()
and it's hard not to stare.
I just watched my Dad flip out on remote controls for about 10 minutes before I let HIM know I was awake. It was pathetic. And he was screaming at me because I was giving him a hard time about it. They're remote controls for Christ's sake. Remote controls!

Friendster has got to be one of the most ridiculous websites to exist.

12:51 PM  ()
and joyce was my savior.
Last night was one big pile of ridiculous, and after this I shall never speak of it again because I'll stop caring about it pretty quick. Having an emotional break down in public after putting up with so much shit from myself and a pile of ignorance on top of that just wasn't fun. I was embarassed to be me, and I was embarassed to know some of the people that I know. I'm just glad I got to sleep in my own bed last night, I'm lucky I found the keys to the house.

I don't think my Dad knows I am home or was home last night. I came through the basement walkout door. I'm not hungover, but I'm ill. Whatever was wrong with my body this past week is now worse. I'm a huge moron.

Well, there's some good coming out of it. I officially quit smoking today, so let's hope that works out for me. I'm done with it. And I'm done with trying to make this life a little bit better here. I'm just going to do what I have to do and then leave. That's really all there is to do now isn't there?

Sigh. I lost my toque (that used to be my Mom's) last night. I should have just kept the damn thing on my head. I made two friends, though. Ha. The waitress last night, I believe her name was Randi (or Brandi), and a friend's sister. I am so thankful to have had her (Joyce) there for me, otherwise I don't really know what would have happened to me. I should phone her and thank her again for, well, keeping me safe and emotionally stable.

I was supposed to go out to see Deville tonight at The Black Swan with Death By Stereo and Himsa. I think I'm just going to stay home, and hang out with my Dad. Maybe I can con him in to renting Finding Nemo. I want him to see it so badly. Gotta love the seagulls, alright? They're my favourite.

It's
okay
to
run away
sometimes.